Happy New Year almost everyone! Wow, not terrible to go past 2021, is it? But politically speaking, there were a number of moments that were at least… intriguing.
Let’s see how many of them you remember:
1. When Big Bird announced that he had been vaccinated against COVID, Senator Ted Cruz said that the “Sesame Street” star was …
A. Engaging in “government propaganda”. B. Really show the holiday spirit. C. “A good friend I met while on vacation in Mexico.”
2. When President Joe Biden launched new vaccine mandates, South Carolina Gov. Henry McMaster caused a stir by promising to fight Biden…
A. In court. B. “At the gates of hell. C. In a well-written position paper.
3. Donald Trump tweeted that he “was working hard to get the hugely popular and capable former Congressman Sean Duffy of Wisconsin to run for governor.” A small problem is …
A. Sean spells his last name Duphee. B. He’s not that popular. C. The former congressman moved to New Jersey.
4. Trump likes to name Republican Senate Leader Mitch McConnell as…
A. “Old Raven”. B. “My jowly pally. “C.” The man who taught me everything I know about the Senate.
5. Pennsylvania Republican and Trump favorite Sean Parnell suspended his Senate campaign after …
A. His wife testified that he strangled her, pinned her to the ground, called her a “bitch” and demanded that she have an abortion. B. He did not tuck his shirt in during a court appearance. C. He accidentally ignored Don Jr. at a cocktail party.
6. Trump’s favorite for the Senate race in Georgia, Herschel Walker, could be in trouble with …
A. Accused of having distributed souvenir footballs which deflate immediately. B. Claims that he threatened to shoot his ex-wife. C. Opponents who claim he “dropped the ball”.
7. New York Mayor-elect Eric Adams made headlines when he promised …
A. To take his first three Monopoly cash paychecks. B. Get vaccinated five times, once in each arrondissement, just to remind you. C. Take his first three paychecks in Bitcoin.
8. Adams was also in the news when he announced transition committees, including …
A. Bill de Blasio at the head of the “things to avoid” group. B. More than 700 people. C. All the members of the Giuliani family who denounced Rudy.
9. Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan is not happy the government is forcing its voters to get the coronavirus vaccine. In fact, Jordan said, he sensed his condition …
A. Should get rid of all vaccination warrants. B. Should ask people who received free injections to pay their costs. C. Should change its motto from “With God, anything is possible” to “Land without a needle”.
10. Representative Paul Gosar, R-Arizona, was censored by the House for…
A. Make a movie in which he plays a Spiderman clone guarding our southern border. B. Tweet a cartoon video showing him killing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. C. Goose hunting out of season.
11. A pre-Thanksgiving House speech by Republican Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy set a record for…
A. Including 12 different recipes for Kevin’s special stuffing. B. Mention Ronald Reagan five times more than Donald Trump. C. Taking 8 1/2 hours.
12. Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley has announced he is running for re-election at 88. He swore that if he won, he …
A. Stop blocking gun safety legislation in the Senate. B. Keep fighting to clean up the cattle markets. C. Organize a new political movement for conservatives older than Joe Biden.
13. Former Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe lost an offer to regain his job in a competition against businessman Glenn Youngkin. Like many, many candidates, McAuliffe has spent a lot of time trying to fundraise for the campaign. In a letter, its CFO said they were behind schedule in achieving their goals because …
A. “I wanted to send this email earlier … but forgot to press send.” B. “People don’t understand that such a cool guy can be in need. “C.” We only take money from the non-rich. “
14. Senator Marco Rubio warned that expanding federal aid to pre-K students could force Catholic schools to hire teachers who are…
A. “Less well qualified.” B. “Transsexual”. C. “Bad dressers”.
15. Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the Republican leaders on budget matters, has said he will force his members to “take tough votes,” but added …
A. “I’m not going to be a complete asshole about this.” B. “It’s not like we’re going to talk about taxing the rich.” C. “I have never met a highway that I did not like. “
16. Political strategist James Carville, who was very busy sending out appeals for donations for the fall campaigns, described himself as…
A. “A patriot of the post-enfranchisement generation.” B. “A slut signing e-mails.” C. “Someone who has little to do with their time.”
17. Everyone in Congress seemed to be worried about what the CBO would say about Biden’s social spending plan. CBO stands for …
A. Congressional Budget Office. B. Orgy of the coal barons. C. Clever bean counting operation.
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How did you do? Well if you had a nice twist in the good old days of this year, you get a ribbon. But in terms of answers, here are: 1-A; 2-B; 3-C; 4-A; 5-A; 6-B; 7-C; 8-B; 9-A; 10-B; 11-C; 12-B; 13-A; 14-B; 15-A; 16-B; 17-A. If you scored under 12, try focusing a little more on that stuff, no matter how much it hurts you. If you are between 13 and 15, you win a prize for Steely-Eyed Citizenry. If you’ve done 16 or 17, now is the time to think about some new hobbies.
Gail collins is a columnist for The New York Times.